It is not God’s Will For All Christians To Be Married

I believe that God’s will is not the same for everyone in respect to marriage: some Christians are intended to be married, others are not. Sadly, some Christian parents act as if it is God’s will for all their kids to be married, especially their daughters. They train their daughters up to be only mothers and wives, which sadly leaves these girls with a sense of loss and emptiness if  God chooses not to provide godly husbands for them. These girls need to be taught that they can serve God just as fully if they remain single.

The writings of the Apostle Paul in the Bible make it clear that not every Christian should get married:

 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. (I Corinthians 7:25-28)

First of all, Paul begins this passage by giving no direct command about virgins as to whether or not they should be married. They have the option of either remaining single and refraining from sex, or to marry a godly spouse. Jesus Himself gave no direct command on this subject, and the Apostle Paul is confident that leniency is in line with the Lord’s mercy, meaning that Jesus did not intend to restrict all Christians to either marriage or celibacy. Paul’s personal preference, because of the present crisis is that it is good for a man to remain as he is. What Paul means here, is that because of all the turmoil and pain in the world, it is wise for many single men not to seek the added responsibility of a family, because they already have a great responsibility to serve God, assist the poor, and preach the gospel to others. However, if a young man is already in a relationship, he should not break it off for no reason. Are you pledged to a woman, do not seek to be released? If a man is engaged to a godly woman, and he has spent a lot of time and energy fostering a loving relationship with her, it would not be loving of him to suddenly and abruptly break it off for no good reason. Rather, they should get married and raise a godly family. If they are already married, it is obviously sinful for him to divorce her in order to go directly into ministry. Therefore he must continue to love her and have sex with her within the bounds of marriage and be faithful to his responsibilities as a husband and father. On the other hand, those who are still single, should not look for a wife. God has maintained their singleness in order that they are able to serve Him in some other capacity. Nevertheless, Paul reiterates that marriage is not at all forbidden:if you do marry you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries she does not sin. Nevertheless, those who chose marriage, need to make sure that they are choosing marriage for the right reasons. They should not have false delusions about how easy it will be: pledging your soul to another sinner is never easy, it will be fraught with pain. It can be a good thing (I greatly enjoy my marriage with my wife), but it is not for the lazy and faint-of-heart. A good marriage takes a lot of hardwork and discipline. One should never marry for the sake of escaping from life’s troubles, since that never works. One should only marry if they are seriously committed to spend a lifetime sacrificially loving and giving themself for their mate. That is why Paul says: those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

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