I believe, as a Christian, that wives ought to submit to their husbands. The command from the Bible is quite clear:
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18 NIV).
This is something that I know a lot of people will want to argue about, including people who are not believers and care nothing about the Bible. If you are not a believer, I have very little interest in debating this issue with you. It is not my goal to try to convince unbelieving women to submit to their husbands; it is my goal to convince unbelieving women to become believers and then submit to their husbands. If you will not submit to God, who loves you far more than your husband ever will, then it really matters very little whether you submit to your husband or not. The “rules” of Christianity will only benefit you if you have repented of your sins and turned to Jesus. Any attempt to live out the Christian lifestyle without submitting to Christ in your heart is pure hypocrisy. These rules, when divorced from the doctrine of the gospel, are useless to change a person from bad to good. No effort you make which ignores the efficacy of the blood of Christ can truly change you.
However, if you are a believing woman who has truly repented of her sins and has embraced the love of Christ, then I encourage you to obey the verse above and reap the rewards. Submitting to your husband will be difficult at times, (after all, he’s a sinner like you and me), but it will be worth the effort. By doing so you will learn to love another more than you love yourself, and by denying yourself you will allow yourself to be transformed more and more by the love of God every day. This submission, when practiced ungrudgingly will strengthen both your love and your humility, two things which are vital to the Christian walk. The grace and the beauty of your character will become evident to all.
Now by submission, I don’t mean be a doormat. I don’t mean that you should give up your sense of purpose and your courage and let your husband walk all over you. You must only submit to him “as is fitting in the Lord,” which means that you obey God before you obey your husband. As a helper to him, you need to try to give him your opinion so that you can aid him in making good, pure, choices for his family. As a woman you are able to see things that he cannot see, and you need to lovingly and tenderly bring these things to his attention so that he can benefit from him. But ultimately you need to show him respect, even when he sins and messes up. Men crave respect, and he cannot lead your family effectively if you do not give it to him.