Married people should not live as if they were single

“Another weed to watch out for is the weed of single-living. Perhaps you’re wondering ‘well what does that mean?’ We’re talking about marriage?’ Well, by ‘single-living’ I refer to people who are married, but still live like they are single. I know a lot of people like this. They are married for a long time, but they still as if they are single. He still has his buddies which he has to spend time with, or four baseball teams that he simply cannot be without, she still has all of her girlfriends that she must continually meet with. Unlike the servant’s mindset of Philippians 2:3, which we looked at earlier, this husband and wife are still consumed with their own personal interests, and not the interests of others, rather than the interests of the new family, that their marriage has begun. When two individuals get married they become one flesh. Now this does not mean that they lose their personhood, and doesn’t mean by the way that you can’t have any friends outside of your marriage, that’s not the point. The point is that when you get married your identity changes. Now you’re married. You now belong to another person. And so this demands that the face of life changes. Life begins to look differently. There are couples who have never realized that they are now married, they have never recognized that they have changed their identity, but they continue to live as two single people; as two independent persons who have two independent lives, and who just happen to share a house and a bed. Watch out for that. Again, I’m not saying don’t have interests of your own, that’s not the point. The point is, where is the main interest?”

Excerpted from a sermon by Paul Tautges

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