Your spouse does not exist to meet your needs; you exist to meet theirs

“Watch out for the weed of selfishness. The selfish person thinks that the world exists to serve him, to meet his needs, and when this attitude exists in a marriage, it damages the fruitfulness of the marriage garden, because then the husband starts to think that the wife exists to meet his needs, and the wife thinks the husband exists to meet her needs, and they fail to understand that they both exist to glorify God. The weed of selfishness must be yanked and replaced by the good plant of servant hood. I think of John 13, Jesus washing his disciple’s feet. No selfishness evident there except in the disciples hearts. They lay around waiting for someone else to serve them, they didn’t take the initiative to get up and serve, Jesus did. He laid aside His own interests. And Jesus teaches us in John 13 at the end of that illustration, ‘if I then the Lord and a teacher washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.’ Husbands, when was the last time you washed your wife’s feet? I don’t mean literally her feet. You could do that too I suppose. But when was the last time, you without begging or pleading took the initiative to do something that would serve her? and the same is true for the wives.”

Excerpted from a sermon by Paul Tautges

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