It is very easy for young men in our culture to become addicted to their sexual lusts. They are constantly bombarded with images and messages from the media that tempt them to want things that are bad for them. Fortunately, there are things you can do to help the young men in your family get their sex-drive under control.
- Teach them right and wrong. Make sure your male children know that it is wrong for them to have sex with anyone who is not their wife. That also means that it is wrong for them to imagine having sex with someone who is not their wife. It is a sin for them to lust after a picture of a beautiful woman on a billboard. All red-blooded males will commit the sin of lust frequently. However, they must learn to fight it rather than encourage it. They will only do this if they know for sure that it is wrong.
- Tell them about the false promises of sex. Having sex does not make a person happy or content with life. Neither does an addiction to pornography. Tell your teenage sons to observe the attitudes/temperament of their friends who are sexually active. They will easily see that sex does not make someone happy.
- Teach them to control what they look at. This is very important. It is best to start teaching this to a boy before he reaches puberty, when it is easy for him to look away. Train him to immediately look away whenever he sees an exposed midriff or cleavage. It is not only rude but dangerous to stare.
- Teach them to control their internet use. The internet is a very dangerous place for men. It is so easy to find pornography on the internet. Never give young children unrestricted access to computers/internet. They need to learn to treat the internet with respect. Limit the amount of time that your children are allowed to spend on the internet, and use security programs to monitor where they go. As they get older you will need to give them more freedom to use the internet unsupervised. The goal is for them to become independent, self-controlled adults who are fully capable of resisting temptation when they are completely alone.
- Teach them to watch their language. They must never verbalize their lusts. Casual conversation about female body parts is extremely harmful to young men, because it “turns them on” and it gradually causes them to look at women with less respect. They must be very careful not only about what they say about girls, but what they say to girls. It is OK for them to regard women and their bodies as mysterious. This will help them treat women with respect. If a young man has too much explicit sex education too soon he will have less respect for women.
- Teach them about masculinity. Help them see the examples of good Christian men around them. Being a man is about being strong and self-controlled, not weak and passion driven. Teach them the importance of providing for families and protecting women. Teach them that the best way to protect women is sometimes to keep their distance.